Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

Honestly, I've never celebrate Mother's Day before #baddaughter. Because I'm not good in showing affection. Even to my own mother T_T. Where every daughter/son talk to their mother everyday and walking together holding hands, but not me. I've been like this since I don't remember when. HAHA wtf I don't even remember when was the last time I walk with my mom holding hands. Well, maybe the last one when I was a little girl.

So yeah, in my family, we didn't show affection to each other like hugging, holding hands, saying 'miss you' or whatever. I think it is because we find that funny HAHAHA. I don't have problem with others who apply that kind of affection, it is just in our family, we didn't do that. We do show our affection, in our own way. Which I don't know how to describe.

But my mom, is a super power mom. Well, every mother is, right? If you notice, I've never mentioned about my father before. Simply because I don't have one at home. He left us when I was 8 years old. What happened between my mom and my father, that's their personal. Since that, my mom is our only parent. She is the father, she is the mother.

She had me at very young age. That explains why she still looks young eventhough I'm getting older wtf. Having me at young age means she had to sacrifice most of the moments that she supposed to enjoy before entertaining babies.

I've seen she struggled with life. She struggled with her own problems. She struggled for our problems too. She worked very hard to make us a better person. I've seen how she worked to earn money. I've been there. At the situation where money was our biggest problem. My siblings and I were too young to earn money. But she never left us. I found out days after my second brother passed away. School called mom and told that we can't claim for insurance because his school fees haven't settled. That day, I felt really guilty because my mom still gave me money every weeks for expenses where she actually having problems settling our school fees. My brothers and I was in boarding school on that time.

I can say my mother and I didn't really talk a lot. I mean like we didn't share secrets. We do talk about simple stuff like what to buy at grocery, what color you like for Hari Raya, who's married this week and etc HAHAHA. But I never talk about my other half to her. I've never asked her on how to cope with this love matters. She never asked too. But I know she cares. She knows something is wrong by looking at my body language whenever it happens.

I did bad things too. I can still remember more than hundred missed calls on my phone because she really worried that I don't return her calls. I was angry (personal matters) and I slept over at my friend's house. My phone died and I didn't bring charger. When I saw that hundred missed calls, my tears ran down like heavy rain because I felt guilty that I made my mom worried like that.

I also remember how I've been a spoilt daughter. I asked mom to drive me to town (an hour drive) just because I had a date wtf. I knew she was tired from work, but that might be my potential perfect man, I just had to date him! HAHAHA turn out that man was never my perfect man wtf. Mom never complained. She waited till my date ended. I can proudly say my mom is a very sporting mom in the world! Okay, at least in my world.

Being a super mom, she still cooks for us. Even we are big enough to take care of our own tummy, but she still wants us to eat her dishes. I'm the one who always been far from home, so whenever I'm home, she'll cooks my favorite dish!

I know I can't repay all her sacrifices for me but I'm trying my best. I try to give the best for her. I'm not sure if I can say this in real life, but here I'm sure I can, I heart you mom.

My mom, my cousin and my brother.

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