unexpected

HAHA. Can't believe I'm still alive, do you? Well yeah. I do have lots of time. But seems like I can't find the right mood to document my life. Especially my wedding story. Been married almost 3 months but still haven't blog about it. Or maybe, I should wait until I deliver newborn baby then blog it HAHAHA. Oh no no. Don't misunderstand just yet. I'm not pregnant yet. Not that we're not looking for a baby, but we just want to enjoy the newlywed moment a little bit longer hehehe.

Uhm,, to tell you honestly, of course I did select best wedding pictures of mine to come out with a blogpost and already edited them. However, it's written up there that my continuous happy moments had to be paused for a while. I got robbed during fasting month :( 

A day before school break started, thieves got into my house while I was sleeping and took away my laptop, cash money, id cards, atm cards, wedding rings and etc. It was heavy rain that night and I didn't hear any sound. Quite shocking because that was my first time. What makes me felt so down was my almost five year old laptop. All my memories were in that laptop. And my works of course. I do have backups in external hard disk but the thieves took it away too. Now I have to start again from zero pfftt. 

However, I'm being positive. I'm looking to the bright side. Maybe the thieves need it more than me. So okay, I hope you will be happy with my stuff wtf. No, really. If that can makes you happy, go ahead. But I hope you acknowledge that you are not doing the right thing.

I'm still being lucky because they didn't lay even a finger on me so I'm safe. Even though I was sleeping in my unlocked room by that time! Maybe they just want the stuff. They don't intend to hurt anyone physically. Or maybe, the way I sleep is not sexy at all they don't even want to have a gaze HAHAHAHAHA. 

So, now I settled with police reports and all. I'm so touched by my husband. He's always there with me even in my sadness. He sacrificed a lots of things (I never expect he will do this during our 8 years relationship before we got married). Guess I got married with the right man hehe.

Till then, bye :D

End year school break has come

First, I'm presenting you guys my most popular selca at the moment. I uploaded this in instagram then my friends commented I look like shampoo model here. Thank you to the fan. Due to the likes on instagram, I uploaded again in facebook. and managed to get 15 likes HAHAHA that's a good news to me. Before this, just to get 1 like, I had to call genie in a bottle to grant my wish wtf. My aunt some more commented I look like Fauziah Latif, famous Malaysia pop singer 10 years ago LOLOL.

 You all just want to make me happy right? fml

mustard dress and necklace from Bandung

watch from W♥C

shoes from Kiss & Tell

I took a leave that day because I think I deserve it. Worked hard for the week arrange this and that, key in marks, etc etc etc. So I put effort on doll up myself and go out. I love it how I can take all the time in the world putting make up on my face and choosing apparels and accessories. My usual days are usually rush everything because I need to be at school before the bell rings. Sometimes I would skip contact lens because I wake up late. Sometimes I wear tracksuit even though I know I won't teach PE that day because I am too lazy to iron baju kurung. I wear sandals to school because the environment is not right for me to wear heels. It sadden me that I'm super messy these days. So, when I have extra time I put effort to make myself pretty and neat again.

Was unhappy last week. I failed again in applying to transfer back to my hometown. This time I'm very sad. Guess I put too much hopes this time. I think it's time already for me to come back to my family. I've been away from my family since secondary school. I went to boarding school, then further my study to college that also far from home, and now working very very very far too. So I spent very little times with family. Some people just don't understand. They say it's okay to stay far from family as long as payday comes every month without fail. I bet they simply say like that because they stay with their family. They don't know the down side. But it's okay. I will try again next April :)

Me that didn't look like me HAHAHA.

Till then, bubbye!

long weekend

Yeay it's gonna be a looong weekend this time. Yeay again! It's Hari Raya Aidiladha this week, so I can lay flat on my bed for four days wtf. After all rush hours at school, from sports to exam to marking papers to key in marks to meetings etc etc etc, I deserve this long weekend! Shit I guess I forced myself too much recently that I almost die last night wtf. I suddenly felt like puking and my body wasn't work very well. Looking at myself last night, I looked so pitiful with tired eyes and messy hair, I felt like crying thinking why am I like this. Before the tears come down, I put myself to sleep and not expecting any dreams. I just want a rest. A very nice rest. I left all my works on the desk. This morning, I woke up earlier than usual and get them all done then went to school without any makeup. I prepared myself to be laugh stock because me without makeup is super unglam HAHAHA.

Nevermind. This week I'm gonna regain my power. Everything will be fine again. The Secret's twitter once said plan tomorrow as what you want it to be, everything will slowly goes as what you've planned. Okay, so I'll plan my weekend. I will eat good food, laugh with Running Man, have good sleep, talk to awesome people, and online shopping HAHAHA. Obviously online shopping can makes me happy so that's what I'm gonna do.

*no pictures because I'm too lazy to transfer them*

a better person for a better life

These days I try my best to keep calm. I admit I can get angry easily. Like really easy. Even if someone accidentally use unsuitable voice tone to me. Or to people around me *sigh*. Since I was born, I have this princess attitude that I want everything runs as smooth as I want. If it doesn't, that makes me grumpy. I am spoilt brat I know T__T As I grew older, I noticed that I've changed. Not fully changed yet. A little bit, maybe. I laugh when something annoying happen so that I can act like I'm not angry at all. They say laugh is a good medicine. That's how I try to be a better person.

But still. I don't understand why people don't even have the intention of getting better. I mean like they say they want to change, but then their complains are getting bigger than before. Or do you mean it doesn't matter change from nice to bad as long as you change? 

I read The Secret. Even though I am not good at practising it but I did try. The Secret is not even a Quran. But it is a good book to read and practise. The Secret emphasizes the more we complain, the more bad things will come to us. Based on that I can see why troubles keep coming and find the people who complains a lot. For financial, for job, for lifestyle, etc. Their life is not getting better at all. I do complain. And these days, I calm myself first before I complain. It's hard to do but I try.

Then, I don't get it why people always have an issue (or issues) with others. I mean like, sure there is something small that may be annoying that makes you feel like slap him/her right on the face, can we just laugh at it and let it pass? Why must make it an issue just to make others join the war and fanning the flame? As for me, I won't get involve if it doesn't include me. So please. You can say everything bad but don't expect me to join the parade. I would love to stay away from any negativity. We are friend but that does not means it is compulsory for me to be on your side and makes enemy *sigh*

Be better for people around me is easier for me than be fully better person for my other half and family. Ugh I never knew that's too hard to do. Especially for my other half. If you happen to read this (usually he don't), I am sorry for making you my punching bag because it is too hard to throw away this princess attitudes when it is you T_T I am trying my best, please give me your supports.

That's all. Thank you. Emo post shouldn't be long like this HAHAHAHA

Happy Mother's Day

Honestly, I've never celebrate Mother's Day before #baddaughter. Because I'm not good in showing affection. Even to my own mother T_T. Where every daughter/son talk to their mother everyday and walking together holding hands, but not me. I've been like this since I don't remember when. HAHA wtf I don't even remember when was the last time I walk with my mom holding hands. Well, maybe the last one when I was a little girl.

So yeah, in my family, we didn't show affection to each other like hugging, holding hands, saying 'miss you' or whatever. I think it is because we find that funny HAHAHA. I don't have problem with others who apply that kind of affection, it is just in our family, we didn't do that. We do show our affection, in our own way. Which I don't know how to describe.

But my mom, is a super power mom. Well, every mother is, right? If you notice, I've never mentioned about my father before. Simply because I don't have one at home. He left us when I was 8 years old. What happened between my mom and my father, that's their personal. Since that, my mom is our only parent. She is the father, she is the mother.

She had me at very young age. That explains why she still looks young eventhough I'm getting older wtf. Having me at young age means she had to sacrifice most of the moments that she supposed to enjoy before entertaining babies.

I've seen she struggled with life. She struggled with her own problems. She struggled for our problems too. She worked very hard to make us a better person. I've seen how she worked to earn money. I've been there. At the situation where money was our biggest problem. My siblings and I were too young to earn money. But she never left us. I found out days after my second brother passed away. School called mom and told that we can't claim for insurance because his school fees haven't settled. That day, I felt really guilty because my mom still gave me money every weeks for expenses where she actually having problems settling our school fees. My brothers and I was in boarding school on that time.

I can say my mother and I didn't really talk a lot. I mean like we didn't share secrets. We do talk about simple stuff like what to buy at grocery, what color you like for Hari Raya, who's married this week and etc HAHAHA. But I never talk about my other half to her. I've never asked her on how to cope with this love matters. She never asked too. But I know she cares. She knows something is wrong by looking at my body language whenever it happens.

I did bad things too. I can still remember more than hundred missed calls on my phone because she really worried that I don't return her calls. I was angry (personal matters) and I slept over at my friend's house. My phone died and I didn't bring charger. When I saw that hundred missed calls, my tears ran down like heavy rain because I felt guilty that I made my mom worried like that.

I also remember how I've been a spoilt daughter. I asked mom to drive me to town (an hour drive) just because I had a date wtf. I knew she was tired from work, but that might be my potential perfect man, I just had to date him! HAHAHA turn out that man was never my perfect man wtf. Mom never complained. She waited till my date ended. I can proudly say my mom is a very sporting mom in the world! Okay, at least in my world.

Being a super mom, she still cooks for us. Even we are big enough to take care of our own tummy, but she still wants us to eat her dishes. I'm the one who always been far from home, so whenever I'm home, she'll cooks my favorite dish!

I know I can't repay all her sacrifices for me but I'm trying my best. I try to give the best for her. I'm not sure if I can say this in real life, but here I'm sure I can, I heart you mom.

My mom, my cousin and my brother.

Ballerina

I was in the mood to doll up myself last week. It was CNY holiday and I got nothing to do at home T__T what a pathetic life I'm living in fml. Suddenly I miss my alma mater. Not because I'm missing all the lectures but the friends that cheer up my day. Well at least I got few crazy friends that laugh for nothing even if it is just a lame joke.

This ballerina dress I bought months ago but haven't wear it. Simply because it's weird to wear something like this when my friends around me only wear jeans and plain tshirt. Plus, I don't have the confidence wearing this here and there because I don't have gorgeous body HAHAHA. So it stays in my wardrobe.

I can't wait to move in to my new house. I want to set up a room where I can get fabulous natural lighting and nice background that would be perfect to get self picture like this. My current house doesn't have all that.

I saw many pictures in japan mags do this pose recently. What is this exactly? Looks like a rabbit ears to me. Is it? And I tried that pose to be cute like those models and I failed HAHAHAHA. I look like retard now.

This week I keep hearing that some people likes to talk behind my back. The funny part is they talk behind me but still, all their bad talks come to me at last. It's like A and B bitching about me, then B tells C, then C tells me all the gossips. Is this their tradition or what? As a matter of fact, they're not only talk about me but my friends too. I don't know why I'm moving in to a new house (which is an hour drive to school) has negative impact to their life? It's not like I'm asking them to fetch me to school. I'll do that all by myself. Not burdening anyone.

I don't understand why I'm not putting make up on Tuesday and Thursday (because I teach PE and sweat is my bestfriend) starts troubling them. I bet they don't even know bb cream exist yet they are complaining?? Their complains are all rubbish. Not improving me at all. Plus, the people who in charge of this bad gossip things are all old people, obviously their styles are waaaayyyyyy too different from me.

So I'll just ignore those useless people. I'll just assume that boredom strikes them and they don't have things to do other than bitching others. Don't you guys feel happy that I'm being positive? HAHAHA.

#random thoughts

I'm going back to Miri (again T_T) tomorrow. School starts next week. I'm not very happy about that 'going back' -.- There's nothing I can do except going back, because that's the only source I'm able to afford my lifestyle wtf. This time it's gonna be challenging for me. I decided not to live in plantation anymore. So I'm gonna rent a house. To rent a house means I need to challenge myself wake up at 5 am, get ready, drive to school about an hour pfffttt. I'm not hundred percent sure if I can do this but I will give it a try *determine.

It's gonna be tough at first because I have to spend a lot on gas and waste more energy waking up early morning but every happiness needs sacrifice right? I want to try live alone and independently. Since I'm the one who want this badly, so I should do all the sacrifices.

I can choose to stay in my last couple years comfortable zone, wake up at 7, walk to school only 5 minutes, free foods often supplied by neighbours, etc, but I don't think I get all the freedom I want. I think I'm meant to live in urban area HAHAHAHA wtf very vain.

So, to make me more vain, here I provide you girls (and guys) my selca pictures I took few weeks ago.

I really love this curl styles now. Simple and easy. I have confidence on my bare face but not on my original hair. My original is real messy and super damage. I can say I can't live without hair straightener and hair curler wtf.

I think I have moustache here HAHAHA.

No PS at all (except brightness). Excuse my weird face shape T____T

I'm wearing Dolly Wink lashes no.2 and bottom lashes Dolly Wink no.8

This picture my bf despise the most HAHAHAHA. He said I look weird in that pose and asked me not to do that anymore HAHAHA. He was actually forcing me not to upload this picture *stubborn.


Andddddddddddddddddddd..............................

I have this parcel I want to blog but I don't know when, since I don't have proper internet at Miri,

but I'll give a hint :p

Tadaaaa~~~~

My Jeremy Scott pink Bear shoes <3 <3 <3
Love it to the max!

spell emo for me

This is like a dying blog. Yes, I know it is pfftt. You know when you just don't know what to blog? Or maybe you have tons to blog but no words can describe it? That's happening to me. I went travel and still don't get the mood to blog. I hang out with friends wearing nice outfits and deserve to be blogged but still don't get the mood. I think I am starting to forget my social life in social network wtf.

Fortunately I still remember how to type favorite url and keep browsing. Most important I still can remember my blog url wtf!

The more I grow up (read : older), the more I realise a lot of things are nice to be in mute. I used to be a bird who keep chirping about my life. I thought it is nice to share my happy and unhappy moments with those who know me. But now I think I better keep them deep in my heart.

I start to feel like I prefer people not to ask me too much questions. I mean for things that does not really important. Like asking who is the owner of my heart or maybe asking why I didn't hang out often anymore or maybe why I didn't plan for my marriage yet or maybe why my car break down again or whatever. Sometimes it is just annoying T__T

For the time being I want to do all things I haven't done yet. Time has never been kind to me waiting for me even a second. It keeps passed me although I am not ready yet. It is a sad thing when I plan to do things then I tell someone, in the end I don't get the responses that I want. Like when I tell people I want to go somewhere alone and they keep insisting it is too dangerous to go alone. So what should I do? Keep waiting till someone offering himself/herself accompanying me? That's wasting my lifetime. Life should be a little dangerous.

I don't want to play safe all the time. That is too boring. If I want to play safe I can lock myself in my room all the time so that safe zone will forever be mine.

Money is important but it is okay to spend money. Today we spend money but who knows tomorrow God has planned a lot of money for us. So, why should people keep worrying about my finance?

Sometimes I wish people can try to understand my desire in life and let me do things I want to do.

run baby run

Have you ever thought of run away to a new place where nobody acknowledge you? I did. Not once, not twice. But everytime when I think I can't face obstacles in life. Doesn't matter its my life, love life, family life and so on. I just want to run away.

The feeling is just like when pimples are all over your face and you don't want to go buy groceries just because you have pimples (wtf why am I putting this as an example).

In time you would smile widely and laugh out loud....
second after, you become sad just because your other half talk about something that ruin your happy moments T___T

Yeah life is like that. My life to be exact. I can laugh. I can come with jokes. I can do puffer fish face to make you laugh. But I can't be like that all the time. A minute after I would cry like hungry baby just because you hurt my emotion.

Wtf this post shouldn't be an emo post. I should write happy one. HAPPY!

I'm a good planner. Or at least, I think I'm a good planner. So, when I plan for something of course I think my plan is the best one. Sounds selfish now wtf. But then if people disagree, that would make me sad. Especially when 'people' is my boyfriend T_____T

Excuse me, I should be happy. HAPPY!

I just want to have 'you and me only' moment again. Means nobody else but two of us. Last time I checked our 'you and me only' was last year. The rest are 'we and our BIG family' time T____T.

If I continue this post, I'll end up not finishing my lesson plan wtf. Bye.

Unstable me

Your-boring-Vujie is here, again. Yeah, pimples and dark circle are here and there now. I blame the situation I've been through these days! Wtf Vujie like always you blame others where you are the one who actually ask for it T_T

I'm not really good now. My relationship was in chaotic. My work atmosphere is a mess. So do my mood. One will bring effects to others wtf. But I swear I'm getting better. My soulmate and I are getting better. Well it was actually me who being attention seeker. What? Is that wrong request for more attention from your other half?

Workplace is not really comfortable right now. Cuz a senior colleague acts like he's right all the time. Nobody could be right but him. The worst thing for me is he seems like aiming me! Wtf I didn't even touch you, why must aim me? I can't remember any of works he gave me I didn't do.

This is why I hate working with older people. Cuz I'm not the type of talking back if he/she is older than me. By older I mean 5, 6, 7, 8 and whatever years older. Why my mum taught me not to talk back to older people even when they do wrong? Mum, you ruined my moral LOL.

Usually (especially government slave), the older the lazier. Have you ever heard that? Doesn't mean we are younger then we must work hard where you the older works less but gets much more salary wtf. For instance, I have 33 teaching periods and he has 12 teaching periods but his salary is wayyyy bigger than me. Then, he insists I must obey all the sit in schedules he arranges. Like I don't have to do all the lesson plans wtf!!

Can we work together and not putting burden on one side only you dearest older people?

If you are still student, my advice is DON'T WORK where older people are here and there like mosquitoes! Freelance. That's better. Wtf.
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

What happen?

Why am I always meet rude person nowadays? What happen to current generation? Why can't speak politely? I don't know you, so why being rude?

This might sounds serious topic. Like I'm one of psychology speaker, politician or whatever wtf. No lar. This is actually only an expression of me.

At first, I was thinking, why Sarawakian is rude (bcz I experience this most of the time in Sarawak)? Then I think it's unfair to judge them like that, where the rude people might be minority only. Look back at the past, I met rude people everywhere. Sabah, KL, Johore, everywhere.

So, I blame this to the current generation wtf.

What happen to family institutions nowadays? Why can't teach your member to be polite as our older generation taught us? Well, at least tell them to smile widely and speak nicely. Be nice to people and be rude only to mean people wtf.

Tell me which country put politeness number one in life. I want to migrate.
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Tomorrow is the day

So tomorrow is my birthday and I don't feel like celebrating. Suddenly I lost my mood. I'm not sure what cause it. I just feel that. This post will be under emo post label.

I'm quite sure my phone will keep silent for the rest of the day (well okay I might get some wishes from bestfriends) bcz nobody remember my birthday. As a matter of fact, I'm not one of those popular girl so nobody cares about any special dates of me T_T.

I don't really mind actually bcz in the first place, my wish for 25th birthday is my boyfriend is there next to me and here he is. And he actually did something that beyond my expectation. He bought a surprise birthday cake for me (up to now, I haven't say thank you yet, and I haven't open the box yet fml). Well the real birthdate is tomorrow so tomorrow la baru open the box :p

Okay. Gonna close my eyes now and hopefully I'll get my mood back tomorrow :)
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

i swear i refused

I'll remark this December as hair-damaged-month just because I changed hair color two times and bleached in the same month. If only my hair have legs, I'm so sure they will run away because their owner never leave them alone without any color or straightening or curling or whatever wtf. But this time, I swear I refused 100% to change my darling milk tea color but I have to because schools are opening soon T___T. My job forbids colorful hair, only natural color and not too light.

Me saying goodbye to darling milk tea brown. Will see you again next December :(

The hairstylist must be annoyed because I asked many questions and kept repeating the same questions HAHAHA. "If I use this color will it be too dark?" "Oh I'm so 'sayang' my current color. So can you suggest which color are one or two shades darker but still light (HAHAHA what question is this)?"


At last I decided to pick dark brown.

Here's what it looks like now.

Dark again T__T ok I'll put this entry under emovujie label wtf. Why I look chubby in second and third pictures? I thought I lose weight why still look chubby? But seriously, my arms are getting skinny and skinnier. Oh maybe all fats moved to face now HAHAHA.

Dolly Wink againnnnn. Now I cannot tahan myself already HAHAHA. 10% of my salary this month I spent on Dolly Wink products T____T.

Outfit of the day. Went to Suria Sabah for the first time. HAHAHA so kesian I'm Sabahan but never stepped into Suria Sabah before just because I spent my days at Miri more than Sabah itself. Many shops haven't open yet. But nevermind, as long as Suria Sabah got Liquids and Liquids provides Dolly Wink products HAHAHAHA.


School breaks will be ended soon. Still not happy going back to Miri, actually never happy when going back there, cuz my car still in the workshop and back without car is like back without soul HAHAHA.

emo again and again

Well now I'm back. For my blog . With nothing in mind wtf.

If you don't like, then just ignore my pic. Uploaded it because... erm just because. I've done with my medical check up yesterday and report showed nothing suspicious. So okay, I am still healthy to live my life.


I am tired about others who love to talk behind me. And of course badmouth about me. I don't know how the way I dress affects your life. And why can't you stop talking about it. I don't see that if I wear make up then you can't fulfill your stomach and I can't see how possible if I wear tights then our boss will not give your salary wtf. My life business will never ruin your life, mind that!


As long as I remember, I have never tried to interfere in your life. So why can't you? I can see that you put much efforts in putting me in your circle. I mean older people circle. Hey I am young enough to get trendy! Why must you ruin me? If you like to be conservative then go on. Just don't bring me together in your boring life. Mine is mine!


I must stop now. If only you can read this you retard!

friends are not friends till their true color revealed

I was actually tried to find my most fierce photo but I didn't found any. Lots of my pictures are in showing-yellow-teeth-photos category fml. Last night I was emo and today I am angry. When will I meet tranquility wtf.


First, I am angry because he seemed to question about my relationship with God. Are you good enough to talk about that? Fine, you are better than me but that doesn't give you permission to humiliate me in front of our dearest colleagues!


Second, I am angry when your eyes keep looking at me like I am the most disgusting person in the earth just because my appearance didn't reflect our work field. I wear skirt, short, sleeveless, tights. As long as I remember I've never wore them to work! So, what's your problem? If you want me to wear kain sarong all the time, do I have to obey your order? I am not your wife! Mind you, we are just colleague!


Third, I am angry when I already tried my best to keep our relationship (colleague) as smooth as it is but when you did this then I think you are ruining it. Can you just be neutral as I am so then we won't have any problems later? I don't want to be racist but when you act like this, I guess what people always say about you and your race is right. Before this I have a few friends like you but they are not worst like you. You are the worst!


But when I think it back, why should I get angry? The person who talk rubbish is nothing to me. Plus, it's not like the first time people talk thing like this to me.

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1.03.01

rumour spreads everywhere

Have you ever wonder what rumours spread behind you? Of course laaa rumours about you. I admit I always have the curiosity to know what people talk about me. Do they think I'm a good person like I think I am? HAHAHA. Or do they think I am not a good one to be their friend? Or at least someone to talk to?


I always have the tendency to think that people might talk bad about me and I am afraid that other people will believe it then they will look down at me. Haih so stupid la the way I'm thinking T__T


When I was in college, I used to think that when I start to work, I want to go to a place that no one knows me. I mean people who didn't know my past. It doesn't mean that I want to hide my real life but I just wanted to start a new life. God heard my pray and He threw me to this unknown place HAHAHA. Guess what happened? Me is still me. I am still the same one like the one I want to forget.


One thing I'm proud about myself. I've been here about 10 months and I don't have any bad issues with anybody. And I don't even want to know what people keep saying about my behaviour here. I just live my life.

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1.03.01

lonely vujie

i swear i am too exhausted these days. Why holidays seem like too far away? And why I feel so lonely?


When talking about friends, due to my work and where I'm staying now, my circle of friends now are much older than me. Most of them married already. Even I am the youngest among us, if it comes to shopping issues, then we are in the same boat. HAHAHA I think I can't even list 10 names of my girlfriends who didn't love shop till drop like I do. But then if it comes to other issues, I don't think I can get myself to their level yet. I want to go to jungle trekking, what can you expect from friends who have babies to entertain? There goes lonely Vujie T___T.


The one and only hope is my boyfriend. Asking him to entertain me all the time HAHAHA. If your boyfriend is willing to feed your needs all the time, not my boyfriend. Pity me again. Since we are in our long distance relationship so I guess we should stick to our phone 24/7, no? Reality check, we only spent our time together at night around 9 pm to 11 pm. Other than that, me is lonely thank you for making me look terrible like this T___T.


Ok now. The solution is get fun for myself or making fun of myself fml. If only I know my life will be this horrible, then I'll make sure I get a job with the circus team.

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1.03.01